The coffee is brewing as I slice into a fresh loaf of banana bread.
The weekend is over tomorrow, which makes me sullen. I feel trapped in my job. Sometimes I don’t think I will ever see the day when I can leave it for good.
Keeping up this schedule each week is exhausting and I can see the toll it is taking in the dark circles under my eyes, visible through my fair skin.
My mind races with my never-ending “To Do” list. So many things I have to put off for another day, another week.
I want to take an hour-long bubble bath, extra bubbly, with Michael Buble serenading me. I want to revisit the lingering lunch Mike and I shared, way back in January, in a cozy restaurant with good food, good beer and snow falling outside. I want to sit on the porch in Virginia with a big glass of wine and my family around me.
Breathe.
I sit and take a sip of coffee, a bite of banana bread. Mike joins me. For five minutes, all of my worries are forgotten.
Mike serenading? I just don't see how that could be relaxing, especially with a New York accent. I feel for you, except it wasn't two jobs and pressure. It was, will I get off work in time to get to the game, help with dinner and homework and still be able to get up in the morning? Or maybe it was having two beautiful daughters and pretending to be asleep when they came in later than expected from doing whatever. I kow what it is like to be in a job, just to have a job. I also now know what it is like to have a career and the feeling that comes with that. It will not be long before you find your place and when you do it will be all that much more ejoyable. Sacrafice is a double edged sword, on side hurts like hell, the other is cool steel honed to perfection. Just know that you are loved and we are proud of you, and a restfu weekend is just an hour and a halfs flight away. Tell Mike that Sadie does not care for second hand Jager :) Love you Honey, Daddy
ReplyDeleteI know this is a super-stressful time. The one thing I can say is that when you have finished this grind and are doing what you want to do - it will be all the sweeter. You can't truly appreciate the gifts in life if you have not had some struggle. I know that sounds easy for me to say now - but it really is true. Struggle is indeed good for the soul and it does make you stronger. I love you! Mum
ReplyDelete