Mother’s Day becomes more difficult with each passing year. The difficulty lies not so much in selecting the perfect card, composing the perfect words or even purchasing a special gift which, no matter the cost, will be deemed unnecessary. Rather, it is the 493.7 miles between our front doors. I want to surprise her with a big, beautiful bouquet of flowers. I want to make her sit and enjoy her coffee and Sunday crossword on the porch as I whip up a special breakfast for us to share. I want to treat her to an afternoon of mani-pedis, lunch, shopping and coffee. I want to spend the evening enjoying a simple dinner and wine, a perfect dessert and a swig of sweet Madeira.
For now, the miles and the crazy pace of life in NYC will keep us apart on the day she should be celebrated the most. The crazy part about this whole thing is that my mother is the real reason I am not there to celebrate this day with her.
When I was ready to give up on my life in New York, after a surprisingly little amount of time, she encouraged me to stay and work on making myself happy. When I wasn’t sure I could keep up the days of a full-time job followed by classes at night, I thought of all the years she did the same thing, but with a husband and two little girls.
When I sat across from her last summer, sobbing about my job and not knowing what to do next, she reminded me of times in her life that she felt the same way - that somehow everything worked out for the best, even if such a thing seemed impossible at the time. She quickly nixed the idea of my moving home for a few months to try to figure things out, “Whatever it is that you want to do, whatever next big thing I know is waiting for you in your future, you are never going to find back home. Stay here, be patient, don’t give up.” Isn’t it funny how a mother’s instinct is always right?
So today, I am wishing the woman who has, for me, always exemplified what a strong woman should be. She taught me family should always be the most important part of your life and the power of sharing dinner around a table each evening. She is my support and very best friend. And she is the reason that I cannot give her the Mother’s Day she deserves and I so desperately want to give her. I love you Mummy.